Actively listening to your child

 Actively listening to your child 

Communicating with our children can sometimes be a difficult task. We have the impression that they are not listening to us; they have the impression that we are not listening to them. Good listening and communication skills are essential for successful parenting. Your child’s feelings, views, and opinions are valuable, and you need to make sure you take the time to sit down, listen openly, and discuss them honestly. 

This seems to be a natural tendency to react rather than respond. We make judgments based on our feelings and experiences. However, being responsive means being receptive to our child’s feelings and emotions and allowing him to express himself openly and honestly without fear of repercussions from us. By replying, we send our child a message that his feelings and opinions are invalid. But by answering and asking questions about why the child feels this way, he opens a dialogue that allows him to discuss his feelings more and allows you to better understand where he came from. The answer also allows you to find a solution or an action plan with your child that he may not have found on his own. Your child will also appreciate the fact that you understand what he is feeling.

It is of great importance in these cases to give your child your full attention. Put down your newspaper, stop washing the dishes, or turn off the TV so that you can hear the whole situation and make eye contact with your child. Stay calm, be curious, and then offer possible solutions to the problem.

Don’t discourage your child from feeling upset, angry, or frustrated. Our initial instinct may be to act by saying or doing anything to keep our child away, but this can be a harmful tactic. Once again, listen to your child, ask questions about why he feels this way, and then offer possible solutions to relieve him of a bad feeling.

Like us, our children have emotions and go through difficult situations. Listening and actively listening with our child during their discussion shows that we are interested in them, that we want to help them, and that we have similar experiences on which they can rely. Remember, the answer is: do not react.